Centered Leadership: Posnanski: The rise and fall of A-Rod

 No discussion on innovation is complete without leadership. Conversely, one cannot properly discuss leadership without authentic i.e. centered leadership (see Stephen Covey if in doubt).  

Which is all the more reason why this morning's story by Joe Posnanski captured my attention; the word, "ANYTHING." What will you do to obtain niche supremacy? Are you willing to sell your soul? In the movie "Oh Brother Where Art Thou," the famed guitarist Tommy Johnson is blasted for selling his soul to the devil. He replies, "I wasn't using it anyway."  

There is a wonderful quote by Tom Peters I have used often in presentations, "There is no such thing as a minor lapse of integrity." In the long run what one does echoes through an organization as well as ourselves removing a little more of our once treasured veneer a little here and little there. I highly encourage the reading of this magnificent article on a once great man who happened to be a baseball player. See any similarities in yourself or other leaders? Here are several notable failures. But don’t be misled. Such falls from grace are in businesses of all sizes in all niches. I'd like to hear your thoughts below. If you'd like me to speak for you contact me here at my website or call 719-266-6703. Thanks. Jim

Leon Halip / Getty Images

 Allard Baird would say he was literally shaking. Baird is not a demonstrative person — he’s the sort of man who would call the best meal of his life “good” or, perhaps, if he was feeling especially forthcoming, “really good” — and this is why the word “literally” matters. He would remember “literally” shaking as he sent in his report on a high school baseball player named Alex Rodriguez.

 Baird was a young scout — this was before he became general manager of the Kansas City Royals, long before he became vice president of player personnel for the Boston Red Sox. It was 20 years ago. He had been coaching baseball — “on the field,” as baseball people like to say. He grew used to locating players’ weaknesses and working on them.

 With Alex Rodriguez … Baird could see no weaknesses. The kid was perfect.

Read more of the story via nbcsports.msnbc.com

 

Collaboration and The Rise of Compassionate Leadership: Should You Be Cruel to Be Kind?

There's a powerful link between productivity and what has been identified as "compassionate leadership" in organisations, observes Christina Boedker, a lecturer in accounting at the Australian School of Business and leader of a major business research study that looks at the links between leadership and organisational performance.

The single greatest influence on profitability and productivity within an organisation, according to the research project – which to date has taken in data from more than 5600 people in 77 organisations – is the ability of leaders to spend more time and effort developing and recognising their people, welcoming feedback, including criticism, and fostering co-operation among staff.

Out of all of the various elements in a business, the ability of a leader to be compassionate – that is, "to understand people's motivators, hopes and difficulties and to create the right support mechanism to allow people to be as good as they can be" – has the greatest correlation with profitability and productivity, Boedker observes. "It's about valuing people and being receptive and responsive to criticism."

The findings correlate with the theory recently advanced by Geoff Aigner, director of Social Leadership Australia and adjunct faculty member in AGSM Executive Programs at the Australian School of Business. Aigner's thought-provoking book, Leadership Beyond Good Intentions: What It Takes To Really Make A Difference asserts that good management is ultimately an act of "compassion". While not a word typically associated with organisational leadership, Aigner suggests, compassion in this context means taking responsibility for the growth and development of others, "something that should be every leader's goal".

"Without this motivation we are on our own with the power we have rather than using it to benefit our world and work. Without this motivation we're not really leading," Aigner points out.

Compassion vs. Kindness

In everyday life, people typically confuse compassion with kindness, argues Aigner, who consults to organisations including the Australian Human Rights Commission, National Australia Bank, NSW Health and the NSW Department of Family & Community Services.

"There is a point that all managers face, wanting to be nice to people, but also having an organisational purpose," Aigner says. "I have often seen leaders getting stuck trying to balance the two, either being too hard or too soft in their approaches." He acknowledges that "taking responsibility for organisational systems and the people in them can be overwhelming, tiring or frightening" for managers.

Click here to read Peter Drucker's insights on Effective Leaders

One example is the common dilemma when a manager is reluctant to tell a subordinate that they are not performing because that person is perceived to be fragile – "they may come from a minority group or be difficult to deal with", suggests Aigner. But for a manager faced with this situation, to stick his or her head in the sand is counter-productive, he says. "Whether the reluctance to address the performance issue is due to kindness (or fear), failure to address the real issue actually blocks the under-performing person's growth and the system is damaged."

Boedker agrees. "Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind," she says. "Getting people where they want to go will sometimes involve hard conversations. Many managers don't like having these conversations but to be compassionate – effective as a manager and leader – they must have them."

A surprising outcome of Boedker's research is the finding that, out of four levels of leadership from the executive level through middle management to frontline managers, it's the lowest level of leaders that drives a company's profitability. Perhaps, Boedker surmises, this is because frontline managers are more customer-facing than others and therefore have a lot more impact.

"Sometimes the assumption is that leadership is only at the elite level and that leadership development should concentrate on the executive team," Boedker says. "But leadership exists at all levels and in reality frontline managers tend to supervise more people and therefore can have a far greater impact. And compassion is a two-way thing. It flows from the top down but also, importantly, from the bottom up. In other words, hard conversations must be initiated by all staff, including subordinates who can give their bosses valuable feedback because all leaders need compassion to achieve personal growth and be the best they can be."

Facts About Leadership

The research results produced by Boedker and her team make clear the value of managers who show compassion. In high-performing workplaces, as opposed to the organisations in which productivity and profitability are below average, the following statistics were revealed:

• leaders spend more time and effort managing their people (29.3% higher)
• managers have clear values and practice what they preach (25.7% higher)
• senior people give employees opportunities to lead work assignments and activities (22.9% higher)
• management encourages employee development and learning (21.1% higher)
• leaders welcome criticism and feedback as learning opportunities (20.4% higher)
• managers give increased recognition and acknowledgement to employees (19% higher)
• leaders foster involvement and co-operation amongst employees (18% higher)
• management communicates a clear vision and goals for the future (17.9% higher)
• managers are innovative and encourage staff to think about problems in new ways (16.5% higher)

Applying Power Positively

For an organisation to perform well, all managers or leaders must show great compassion. But how do they activate compassion, asks Aigner, when many management issues stem from the underuse – or misuse – of the power that the position offers them?

Rather than focusing on a certain style of leadership, Aigner believes the real issue for managers is in how they use their power and how power manifests; both are useful to think about in terms of becoming a compassionate leader. "Maybe we need to reclaim the word ‘leadership', which is unashamedly about making progress for the systems we are operating. We need to ask how to use our power as individuals responsibly. Using power responsibly makes us compassionate," he says.

"In organisations where leaders do not own their power, there is little compassion. Paradoxically, managers who are bullying and heavy-handed tend to think they don't have any power or rank. Early in my career as a younger manager, I think I was pretty heavy-handed. I was not the subordinate anymore and I needed to take responsibility for that," recalls Aigner, who began his career in the transport industry before undertaking an MBA and becoming a consultant. "The successful CEOs I meet understand the power they have. They're not shirking it. They understand power is a tool that can be useful for other people and for organisational development."

Aigner also identifies a problem that seems endemic to the local culture. Australia generally has an adolescent relationship to power – "we are either attacking it or seducing it" – and this presents challenges for leaders, he observes.

Aigner believes greater leadership development is required at all levels of organisations. To bring on compassionate leadership, managers need to take the first often awkward step of understanding themselves and the power they exercise. Only then can change occur, because compassionate leaders invariably are aware of their own human failings, he says.

Beyond the hierarchical power that's handed to managers through the organisational structure, Aigner suggests that power manifests in the workplace in a multitude of ways. "There's informal power via reputation, connections and unearned rank that may be attributed to gender, race, education, class, culture, birthplace, sexuality … There's also psychological rank from life experiences, confidence, overcoming hardships and experience of loving environments," he notes.

In recent years, working across all sectors, Aigner insists he's noticed that Australian managers and executives often are scared of engaging in a deeper conversation about how they exercise power and their own capacity for leadership. "But you only have to scratch the surface to see a real desire to do the job well and make organisations more responsible, more useful and more effective, and for people to reach their full potential," he says. "I have seen a real desire to leave a legacy of more than just this year's financial statement. And this is a great and admirable dream."

•   protection of followers from all threats. Such protection should cover, the book suggested, threats both external and internal to the organisation, and threats from the followers' own behaviours and ignorance. I have found this advice one of the most valuable ideas I have ever encountered.

Unfortunately, I do not recall the name of the book.

Anyway, one of the implications of this particular idea is that lower-level managers can indeed have a huge impact of an organisation's performance. I would argue, however, that is not because the managers there are distinctively 'customer focused' (as Boedker suggests) but rather because they are more likely than senior managers to encounter 'external threats' (e.g. irrate or unreasonable customers), and hence have greater opportunity to be visibly protective of their subordinates. via knowledge.asb.unsw.edu.au

How are you responding to a competitive and economic environment unlike anything that has come before? 

Jim Woods is about helping companies and people engage innovate and grow in all the areas important to them. Jim is a professional speaker, author, coach, and strategy consultant based in Colorado Springs, Co. Follow Jim on Twitter @innothinkgroup, Facebook https://www.facebook.com/InnoThink Group or check out his company website http://innothinkgroup.com for more tips and strategies effective leadership, engaged employees, increase growth, and customer effectiveness through innovation. To arrange for Jim to consult or speak at your event email Jim.

These 8 Steps to Authentic Leadership Leads to Growth

Sooner or later every leader realizes that 99% of the people he depends on for success don’t report to him.  Authentic leadership relies on persuasion and persuasion relies on trust. Trust is the most important asset that any organization, brand, product, leader, or individual can have.  Most importantly, trust is not a scarce resource. We can all have more than we need.  However, trust is fragile: Once squandered it is often impossible to regain.  Here are 8 ways to guarantee that you, your product, your brand, and your company will always be trusted.

*     *     *

Several months after taking a new job as head of sales and marketing for a software company, the head of another department came into my office and said, “I think you have a commitment problem.”  She said she had given me several suggestions yet there was no evidence that I was acting on any of them.
“I do have a commitment problem,” I replied. “I am fanatical about keeping them.” I told her that I never commit to more than ten things at a time, and showed her a document containing her suggestions as well as my ten top priorities. I said that if she could make a case for replacing one of my priorities with one of hers I would gladly listen.  She ended up agreeing with my priorities, and this rocky start actually led to a deep personal friendship and the most trusting and productive relationship of my entire career.
Love may make the world go round, but even love depends on trust.  Trust between the United States and Canada produced the longest unguarded border in the history of mankind saving untold billions in defense expenditures and economic friction.  I was in Russia recently and a woman summed up Russia’s tragic and enduring problems with, “There is no trust in Russia.” We accept bits of valueless paper called currency in exchange for goods and services because we trust others to do the same, and I wouldn’t dare climb into my car if I didn’t trust you to obey traffic laws.  Without trust the world quickly descends into William James’ “Bloomin’, buzzin’, confusion.”
The first secret to trust is keeping promises. Trust depends on promise and fulfillment or what lawyers call contracts.  Few realize that corporate profit and loss statements consist of promises not money.  There is no cash or “real money” on the P&L; instead the meat is accounts receivable and accounts payable which are merely promises to pay for goods and services already rendered or received.  In my own company we considered keeping promises so mission critical that we implemented formal internal and external processes for making, tracking, and fulfilling promises.  For example, despite being a perpetually cash starved startup we paid our vendors on time simply because this is what we had promised to do even if it meant I didn’t get a pay check.
To build trust we also must be willing to make promises and this is the second step.  One of the most difficult management challenges I ever encountered was getting others to use goal language. We often assume that if we don’t make promises we will never have to worry about breaking them.  So we hide behind “I’ll try” rather than “I’ll do” in an attempt to side step accountability through ambiguity, equivalence, obfuscation, or even downright double talk.  Unfortunately this stratagem merely signals a person who can’t trust himself, and someone who can’t trust himself is never trusted by others.  We all want solid commitments from others and this means we must be willing to offer accountability ourselves.
The third secret to establishing trust is to under commit and over deliver.  Over promising is the flip side to under promising and just as damaging. Negotiating up front is far more effective in creating and maintaining trust than the inevitable excuses that arise when a promise is not fulfilled. We overcommit because we want others to like us, but the best way to ruin a relationship is by not following through on our promises.
The fourth secret to trust is proactive communication. I recently read an article in the Wall Street Journal (don’t ask why!) evaluating various firms that clean and preserve bridal dresses.  An expensive process that takes months, one firm dazzled the article’s author by sending weekly progress reports. As fallible human beings we will never keep all our promises, but no matter how compelling our excuses may be for failing to deliver on time and on budget there is no excuse for not giving others a heads up.   Keeping everyone in the loop is not just common courtesy it is essential.  If the news is good people can relax, and if the news is bad there is plenty of time to go to plan B. In the story I related above, my mistake was in not communicating therefore forcing my colleague to confront me in the first place about her suggestions.
The fifth secret is don’t cut corners. We are far better off doing a few critical things to the nth degree than a lot of things with a “good enough” attitude. Cutting corners assumes that no one will notice, and this adds insult to injury because it implicitly treats others as if they were too damn stupid to notice.
The sixth key to trust is never hide mistakes.  Inevitably some of our mistakes will be discovered and when they are any rational observer will assume that where there is one there are others yet to be discovered.  Autonomy or being our own boss is what turns work into fun, and hiding mistakes is the quickest way to trade hands off autonomy for a hands on boss or regulatory agency anxiously monitoring our every move.  Also beware of excuses; a simple apology is far more effective in maintaining trust than a box car full of trumped up excuses and finger pointing.
The seventh trust building secret is purifying motivations.  Putting our own agenda first always dooms trust.  Others rapidly see through the smoke screen, and from then on every move we make is screened for ulterior motivations real or imagined.  Conversely, team players who put the interests of others ahead of their own accrue the incredible power that only trust can bestow.
The final secret to trust is never make people ask.  When you repay a debt or fulfill an obligation without being reminded you get ten times the trust building credit that you would otherwise.   Nobody likes hounding a company or an individual to fulfill a promise, and when you add this emotional cost it is always subtracted from your treasury of trust.  For example, when your friends must remind you to pick up the check once in a while you end up picking up more than your share of the checks while getting little or no credit for the gesture.  When I forced my colleague to come to me about her suggestions I was guilty of violating this simple rule which put me on the defensive.
Louis R. Mobley my mentor and the founder of the IBM Executive School said that what makes business possible is trust.  In our own company, for example, our commitment to building trust meant going from a tiny start up to eventual acquisition without ever suing or being sued while collecting over 99% of our receivables without ever running a credit check. A society, company, brand, product or individual can never have too much trust, and if you follow the simple steps outlined above I guarantee you will always have all the trust you need to be successful. via forbes.com

Follow me on Twitter @innothinkgroup, Facebook https://www.facebook.com/pages/Center-for-Creative-Leadership-and-Strategy, or check out my website http://innothinkgroup.com for more tips and strategies effective leadership, engaged employees, increase growth, and customer effectiveness through innovation.

Leadership Development - Effectively Influencing Decision Makers - Marshall Goldsmith

'The great majority of people tend to focus downward. They are occupied with efforts rather than results. They worry over what the organization and their superiors 'owe' them and should do for them.'

"The great majority of people tend to focus downward. They are occupied with efforts rather than results. They worry over what the organization and their superiors 'owe' them and should do for them. And they are conscious above all of the authority they 'should have.' As a result they render themselves ineffectual."—Peter Drucker

One of my first BusinessWeek.com blogs was called "The Art of Influencing Up." In the last couple of years, I have received countless questions from leaders who not only need to influence up but also influence across in their organizations. In this post, I would like to share a more comprehensive version of my ideas on how to make a positive difference when you do not have direct line authority.

Please be warned in advance, this post is longer than my regular ones.

Peter Drucker has written extensively about the impact of the knowledge worker in modern organizations. Knowledge workers can be defined as people who know more about what they are doing than their managers do. Many knowledge workers have years of education and experience in training for their positions yet have almost no training in how to effectively influence decision-makers. As Peter has noted, "The greatest wisdom not applied to action and behavior is meaningless data."

The 11 guidelines listed below are intended to help you do a better job of influencing decision-makers. In some cases, these decision-makers may be immediate or upper managers—in other cases they may be peers or cross-organizational colleagues. I hope you find these suggestions to be useful in helping you convert your good ideas into meaningful action.

1. Every decision that affects our lives will be made by the person who has the power to make that decision, not the "right" person or the "smartest" person or the "best" person. Make peace with this fact.

As simple and obvious as this statement may seem, I am amazed at how few (otherwise intelligent) people ever deeply get this point. When your child comes home from school and complains, "It’s not fair! The teacher gave me a 'C' and I really deserved an 'A.' "" we, as parents, should say, "Welcome to the real world, kid. In life you have to accept the fact that decision-makers make decisions—and that you are not always the decision-maker." Once we make peace with the fact that the people who have the power to make the decisions always make the decisions and we get over whining that "life isn't fair," we become more effective in influencing others and making a positive difference. We also become happier.

2. When presenting ideas to decision-makers, realize that it is your responsibility to sell, not their responsibility to buy.

In many ways, influencing ultimate decision-makers is similar to selling products or services to external customers. They don't have to buy—you have to sell. Any good salesperson takes responsibility for achieving results. No one is impressed with salespeople who blame their customers for not buying their products.

While the importance of taking responsibility may seem obvious in external sales, an amazing number of people in large corporations spend countless hours blaming management for not buying their ideas. Former Harvard Professor Chris Argyris pointed out how "upward feedback" often turns into "upward buck-passing." We can become disempowered when we focus on what others have done to make things wrong and not on what we can do to make things right.

If we spent more time on developing our ability to present ideas and less time blaming others for not buying them, a lot more might get accomplished.

A key part of the influence process involves the education of decision-makers. To again quote Drucker: "The person of knowledge has always been expected to take responsibility for being understood. It is barbarian arrogance to assume that the layman can or should make the effort to understand the specialist." The effective influencer needs to be a good teacher. Good teachers realize that communicating knowledge is often a greater challenge than possessing knowledge.

3. Focus on contribution to the larger good—not just the achievement of your objectives.

An effective salesperson would never say to a customer, "You need to buy this product, because if you don't, I won't achieve my objectives." Effective salespeople relate to the needs of the buyers, not to their own needs. In the same way, effective influencers relate to the larger needs of the organization, not just to the needs of their unit or team.

When influencing decision-makers, focus on the impact of your suggestion on the overall corporation. In most cases the needs of the unit and the needs of the corporation are directly connected. In some cases they are not. Don't assume that executives can automatically make the connection between the benefit to your unit and the benefit to the larger corporation.

4. Strive to win the big battles. Don't waste your energy and psychological capital on trivial points.

Executives' time is very limited. Do a thorough analysis of ideas before challenging the system. Don't waste time on issues that will only have a negligible impact on results. Focus on issues that will make a real difference. Be willing to lose on small points.

Be especially sensitive to the need to win trivial non-business arguments on things like restaurants, sports teams, or cars. People become more annoyed with us for having to be right about trivia than our need to be right on important business points. You are paid to do what makes a difference and to win on important issues. You are not paid to win arguments on the relative quality of athletic teams.

5. Present a realistic "cost-benefit" analysis of your ideas—don't just sell benefits.

Every organization has limited resources, time, and energy. The acceptance of your idea may well mean the rejection of another idea that someone else believes is wonderful. Be prepared to have a realistic discussion of the costs of your idea. Acknowledge the fact that something else may have to be sacrificed in order to have your idea implemented.

By getting ready for a realistic discussion of costs, you can prepare for objections to your idea before they occur. You can acknowledge the sacrifice that someone else may have to make and point out how the benefits of your plan may outweigh the costs.

6. "Challenge up" on issues involving ethics or integrity—never remain silent on ethics violations.

The downfall of Enron, WorldCom, and other organizations have dramatically demonstrated how ethics violations can destroy even the most valuable companies. The best of corporations can be severely damaged by only one violation of corporate integrity. I hope you will never be asked to do anything by the management of your corporation that represents a violation of corporate ethics. If you are, refuse to do it and immediately let upper management know of your concerns. You need to take this action for the ultimate benefit of your company, your customers, your co-workers, and yourself.

When challenging up, try not to assume that management has intentionally requested you to do something wrong. In some cases, inappropriate requests may be made because of misunderstandings or poor communication. Try to present your case in a manner that is intended to be helpful, not judgmental.

7. Realize that powerful people are just as human as you are. Don't say, "I am amazed that someone at this level…"

It is realistic to expect decision-makers to be competent; it is unrealistic to expect them to be anything other than normal humans. Is there anything in the history of the human species that indicates when people achieve high levels of status, power, and money, they become completely 100% wise and logical? How many times have we thought, "I would assume someone at this level…" followed by "should know what is happening," "should be more logical,&qu "wouldn't make that kind of mistake," or "would never engage in such inappropriate behavior."

Even the best of leaders are human. We all make mistakes. When your managers make mistakes, focus more on helping them than judging them.

8. Treat decision-makers with the same courtesy that you would treat customers—don't be disrespectful.

While it is important to avoid kissing up to decision-makers, it is just as important to avoid the opposite reaction. A surprising number of middle managers spend hours trashing the company and its executives or making destructive comments about other co-workers.

Before speaking, it is generally good to ask four questions:

• Will this comment help our company?

• Will this comment help our customers?

• Will this comment help the person I am talking to?

• Will this comment help the person I am talking about?

If the answers are no, no, no, and no, don't say it! There is a big difference between total honesty and dysfunctional disclosure. As we discussed earlier, it is always important to "challenge up" on integrity issues. It is inappropriate to stab decision-makers in the back.

9. Support the final decision of the organization. Don't tell direct reports, "They made me tell you."

Assuming that the final decision of the organization is not immoral, illegal, or unethical, go out and try to make it work. Managers who consistently say, "They told me to tell you" to co-workers are seen as messengers, not leaders. Even worse, don't say, "Those fools told me to tell you…" By demonstrating our lack of commitment to the final decision, we may sabotage the chances for effective execution.

A simple guideline for communicating difficult decisions is to ask, "How would I want someone to communicate my final decision when that person disagreed with me?" Treat decision-makers the same way that you would want to be treated if the roles were reversed. If you stab your boss in the back in front of your direct reports, what are you teaching them to do when they disagree with you?

10. Make a positive difference—don't just try to "win" or "be right."

We can easily become more focused on what others are doing wrong than on how we can make things better. An important guideline in influencing up is to always remember your goal: making a positive difference for the organizations.

Corporations are different from academic institutions. In an academic institution, the goal may be just sharing diverse ideas, without a need to affect the bottom line. Hours of acrimonious debate can be perfectly acceptable. In a corporation, sharing ideas without having an impact is worse than useless. It is a waste of the stockholders' money and a distraction from serving customers.

When I was interviewed at the Harvard Business Review, I was asked, "What is the most common 'area for improvement' for the executives that you meet?" My answer was "winning too much." Focus on making a difference. The more other people can be "right" or "win" with your idea, the more likely your idea is to be successfully executed.

11. Focus on the future—let go of the past.

One of the most important behaviors to avoid is whining about the past. Have you ever managed someone who incessantly whined about how bad things are? When people consistently whine, they inhibit any change they may have for bettering the future. Their managers tend to view them as annoying. Their direct reports view them as inept. Nobody wins.

Successful people love getting ideas aimed at helping them achieve their goals for the future. By focusing on the future, you can concentrate on what can be achieved tomorrow, not what was not achieved yesterday. This future orientation may dramatically increase your odds of effectively influencing decision-makers. It will also help you build better long-term relationships with people at all levels of your organization.

In summary, think of the years that you have spent "perfecting your craft." Think of all of the knowledge that you have accumulated. Think about how your knowledge can potentially benefit your organization. How much energy have you invested in acquiring all of this knowledge? How much energy have you invested in learning to present this knowledge to decision-makers so that you can make a real difference? My hope is that by making a small investment in learning to influence decision-makers, you can make a large, positive difference for the future of your organization.

via marshallgoldsmithlibrary.com

What if you maximized your effectiveness? What if you increased employee and customer engagement? How would you rate your competitive advantage?

For over 25 years, Jim Woods has worked with hundreds of people all over the world, helping them discover their ultimate effectiveness through breakthrough educational and coaching programs. Jim is an expert on leadership, competitive strategy, and organizational issues. He is president of InnoThink Group and Center for Creative Leadership and Competitive Strategy.

For Speaking or Consulting Engagements Contact Jim
Jim Woods
President and CEO InnoThink Group
jwoods@innothinkgroup.com
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Learning The Deep Bow of Gratitude and Happiness - Bro. David Steindl-Rast - Centered Leadership

People often ask me how Buddhists answer the question: “Does God exist?”

The other day I was walking along the river. The wind was blowing. Suddenly I thought, Oh! The air really exists. We know that the air is there, but unless the wind blows against our face, we are not aware of it. Here in the wind I was suddenly aware, yes it’s really there.

And the sun too. I was suddenly aware of the sun, shining through the bare trees. Its warmth, its brightness, and all this completely free, completely gratuitous. Simply there for us to enjoy.

And without my knowing it, completely spontaneously, my two hands came together, and I realized that I was making gassho. And it occurred to me that this is all that matters: that we can bow, take a deep bow. Just that. Just that.

If we were able to experience this fundamental gratitude at all times, there would be no need to talk about it, and many of the contradictions that divide our world would at once be resolved. But in our present situation, talking about it might help us at least to recognize this experience when it is granted to us and give us courage to let ourselves down into the depth which gratitude opens up.

(Please donate to our fund to help children stay in school and learn to become entrepreneurial leaders. Learn more.)

We can begin by asking ourselves: “What happens when we feel spontaneously grateful?” (It is, of course, this concrete phenomenon which concerns us here, not any abstract notion.) For one thing, we experience joy. Joy is certainly there at the basis of thankfulness. But it is a special kind of joy, a joy received from another person. There is that remarkable “plus” which is added to my joy as soon as I perceive that it is given to me by another, and necessarily another person.

I can treat myself to a delicious meal, but the joy will not at all be the same as if someone else treats me to a meal, even though it be a little less exquisite. I can prepare a treat for myself, but by no means of mental acrobatics can I be grateful to myself; there lies the decisive difference between the joy that gives rise to gratitude and any other joy.

Gratitude refers to another, and to another as person. We cannot in the full sense be grateful to things or to impersonal powers like life or nature, unless we conceive of them in some confused way as implicitly personal, super-personal, if you wish.
The moment we explicitly exclude the notion of personality, gratitude ceases. And why? Because gratitude implies that the gift I receive is freely bestowed, and someone who is capable of doing me a favor is by definition a person.
A joy, even though I receive it from another, does not make me grateful unless it is meant as a favor. We are quite sensitive for the difference. When you get an unusually big piece of pie in the cafeteria, you may find yourself hesitating for a moment, and only when you have discarded the possibility that this may indicate a change of policy or an oversight, you take it to be a favor worthy of a smile for the fellow that hands it to you across the counter.

It may be difficult in a given case to say whether the favor I receive was meant for me personally. But my gratitude will depend on the answer. At least the favor must be meant for a group with which I am personally identified. (When you wear a monk's habit you not infrequently receive a bigger piece of pie or some other unexpected kindness from someone you never met before and who you will never meet again. But there, the people do mean you, in so far as you are a monk, and it is quite a different case from the painful experience of smiling back at someone only to discover that the smile meant not you but someone who stood behind you.) 

via gratefulness.org Bro. David Steindl-Rast

Please donate to our fund to help children stay in school and learn to become entrepreneurial leaders. Simply click the link. Thank you. Jim